Same sex marriages incorrectly show as "Father" and "Mother"

When there is a same sex marriage, RM still incorrectly shows one person as “Father” and one person as “Mother”. I know this has happened completely innocently, but it’s incorrect and also could be offensive.

Is it possible to change this behaviour in an update?

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Open either partner of the same sex marriage in the Edit Person screen. Highlight the Spouse line directly under the Person line. At the top of the right panel will be Father Label and Mother Label. You can change the labels at that point.


Ah awesome, thank-you!

Still would be great if maybe “Partner” was autoselected for people in same sex marriages?

This is how I document domestic partners in RM. I created a Domestic Partner fact “family” type and then used a sentence script from the marriage fact type which can be revised.You can also set the sex field to the same gender.

Thank-you. This is an interesting idea that I like, and one I will probably copy for unmarried but long term couples (whether same sex or mixed sex). I’ll probably also create something similar for Civil Partnerships (again, whether same sex or mixed sex).

It’s not something I want to use fo same sex marriages though - they’re marriages and as such I want to treat them the same as any other marriage.

I’ve used @thejerrybryan’s suggestion and select “Partner” - though it would be great to be able to manually select “Husband” or “Wife” here?

The Command Palette has a choice to Swap couple. Doing that should allow for positioning on the Family screen whomever is to be labeled Husband as the upper person and lower person to be labeled Wife. NOT husband & husband nor wife & wife, though.

Yup, I guess that’s the whole point I’m making. There’s no wrongful intentions from RM here, but it’s still a little bit wrong to assume that someone is the male and someone the female in a same sex relationship. Would be great to have this fixed!

Thanks @Iain for highlighting this and starting a discussion. This was what I was searching for too. And thanks to the others for the really helpful work arounds - I have tried them and they do sort of work. Particularly for a childless couple - I could change them to husband and wife, rather than father and mother. And I have now created a “Civil Partnership” fact successfully and really pleased with that.

But I do agree with Iain, we really do need a husband-husband and wife-wife choice for same-sex marriages if we are to document things accurately, which is the point of all this research we are doing after all!

The Couples screen though desperately needs to change and I don’t see a way to do that. Father and Mother are resolutely the column headers and this just does not work in the context of this list at all. And my civil partnership couple are in the list but the date and place is not visible.

Nothernlights wrote about a couple not married but living together.

I have for many years used Cohabitation [Person] <and [Spouse] entered> into cohabitation<[Date]> <[Place]. [Desc]

And Cohabitation ceased [Person] <and [Spouse] ceaced their cohabitation. <[Date]> <[Place]> [Desc]