Relationship to Father

It would be nice to have an option in the “Relationship to Father” field “Unmarried Birth Father”

Where would you be thinking of using this option? Many couples nowadays do not go through the formalities of a marriage ceremony in which case both parents could be said to be “Unmarried Birth Father (or Mother)”. I think perhaps you were thinking of using it where the child was the result of a relationship that fizzled out, a one night stand sort of thing or an affair but the “just not formally married” situation would equally apply.

I am finding a few ancestors that are marked in church records as a illegitimate child father unknown.
But I do have one where the father is known. I don’t want to label him as the father or the father in a common law marriage, but some title to show that he was not involved in the child’s life.

He is the father so ‘father’ should be sufficient. There is absolutely nothing in the definition that says he had anything to do with the child’s life. Sometimes it is best to call a spade a spade.

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@dcslatter I have tons of W VA kids ( dating back to 1849) whose parents were not married–
doesn’t matter if the father is UNKNOWN or if I list his name-- what I do in the Marriage Fact is put NEVER MARRIED in the PLACE FIELD-- that way it shows up on the family page–you can put it in the PLACE DETAILS and it will say in the fact sentence that they were married at NEVER MARRIED but it will NOT show up on the family page ( this sentence could be changed or a NOT MARRIED fact used if you know how to DEFINE the sentence)-- by having it on the family page, that way I know that I have already proven they were never married instead of I have found their marriage yet — on an unknown spouse that I know they were married, I always put the marriage as ABT 1 year before 1st known child was born–so I can tell who was married…

Now as for FATHER, if you wish there are other options on the EDIT PERSON page when you click on PARENT BUT the options there are better for a stepfather, adopted parents or significant other who raised the child. and unfortunately probably only show up in the facts if you print a report…

Also on the EDIT PERSON page, when you click on SPOUSE, there are other options-- husband, father, partner and other-- if you select PARTNER then on the Family page, it will say PARTNER above his name on the family page and MOTHER above her name ( if you do NOT change it on her EDIT page UNDER spouse)–it will also say PARTNER’S PARENTS on the family page-- this however only changes the info on the family page when you go to the child’s family page, it still says FATHER even if ADOPTED!!!

It’s just easier for me to see the NEVER MARRIED THAN THE PARTNER!!!

@Terry --I use PARTNER instead of FATHER or HUSBAND ( under SPOUSE FACT) when the father never had anything to do with the child and use MOTHER when the mother has either raised the child or re-entered their life if they were adopted–in the case where both parents NEVER had anything to do with the child then I would mark both as partner BUT as I said, it will still say FATHER and MOTHER on the child’s family page…

I use Father for the person who fathered the child. Whether he had anything to do with the child’s upbringing or not is irrelevant to me - he still fathered the child and it his ancestors that matter from a genealogical standpoint. A stepfather’s ancestors have nothing to do with the genealogical make up of the child but I would of course add the stepfather as a spouse to the child’s mother and as a step parent to the child. I wouldn’t bother with going any further back in his line though.

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Although I understand your reasoning, the database administrator and data migration project manager in me (now long retired) shivers whenever I see anyone using database fields for reasons they are not intended for.
Far too many of such uses “bite” unexpectedly.
In my youthfull enthusiam in my far far far inferior initial genealogy program I used place fields for occupations or sometimes census relationships to head “'cos it was handy to do so”.
Some 40-50 years on I still find the odd one lurking and needing tidying in the database which has now been through probably about 4 incarnations in different software over that time.

Another thing that strikes me about this is “consistency”. I try my hardest to be consistent in the way I handle data. Your method as described suggests personal knowledge i.e. it is only used for recent data. How could you possibly know how much a father had to do with a child in 1700 or 1800 or even 1910 if no one is alive to tell you? I had a friend whose father was killed in WW2 and he never had anything to do with his upbringing - does he fall into the PARTNER category too? Your statement says he does.

@LornaHen Thanks for the input BUT I am sure that I probably do many things that would make you shiver–my files for the most part are just for my family, myself and friends I have helped in their research-- very few are posted on-line…

And yes I do know what you mean abt putting other things in the place filed-- when I 1st started recording info–not knowing much abt the other options such as facts, I might have recorded cause of death or died at sister house instead of died Akron, OH and then died at sister’s house in place details…

BUT for now I would rather be accurate if I know the couple was NEVER MARRIED then to upload a gedcom to Ancestry or other sites that say MARRIED but doesn’t give a date–I did a test to check and IF NEVER MARRIED is in the place field, it will say that–otherwise it is MARRIED WITH NO DATE

Just my own personal preference and I understand what you are saying

@Terry

I assumed that it was UNDERSTOOD that I was only talking abt COUPLES WHO WERE NEVER MARRIED–so I will change my previous statement to specifically say…

When I know a COUPLE WAS NEVER MARRIED–I use PARTNER instead of FATHER or HUSBAND
( under SPOUSE FACT) when the father WILLINGLY never had anything to do with the child …

as I also said PARTNER IS ONLY USED ON THE FAMILY PAGE with the couple-- the man is still listed as the BIOLOGICAL father…

If the father that died in WWII was married to his mother than NO IT WOULD NOT BE MARKED AS PARTNER under the spouse-- I have several that one spouse died when the child was quite young and while they still acknowledge and honor their BIRTH PARENT, some of them CONSIDER their step-parent/guardian to be their “REAL” FATHER or MOTHER ALSO–for example 3 of the 6 kids for this couple where under age 5 when their father died, they were placed in a home ( abt 1910) where they stayed until they were of age—John Brown was the supervisor of this home and had daily dealings with them–when they were older and needed delayed birth certificates ( 30 years later), they didn’t go to their older siblings for help, they went to John Brown-- the granddaughter of one of the kids told me that John Brown would often come to visit with her parents / grandmother
( 1970)— the granddaughter knew John Brown as GRANDPA and only found out the true relationship as she became older and started researching the lines

Yes most of the time, it would be that you have personal knowledge from someone that is alive such as a DNA contact ( based on his matching others known DNA cousins) I asked if he was a Smith, Jones or Green–said he did NOT know --just that his grandpa was born in a certain city in 1926-- with that little info I was able to find the info that his g-grandfather was Joe Smith who never married his g-grandmother…

BUT depending on the records you find, you can sometimes determine the relationship between an out of wedlock child and his father-- examples are --an out of wedlock child born abt 1785–she was married and well off when her father died–in his will he left a certain amount of his estate to his legitimate kids and then left a certain amount of his estate to my daughter Sarah ( wife of J Blow) whose mother was my housekeeper Hannah Biggs (his legitimate kids contested the will)–same thing with a man who died in 1855, his kids by his 1st wife were grown BUT his 2 kids by his 2nd wife were under age, so his will took care of the 2nd wife and support / education of his two kids by her
( an X amount once they came of age) but then he also included for the support and education until of age and then X amount after that for " MY LITTLE BOY WILLIE"-- Willie was NOT
a son by the 1st or 2nd wife-- another way-- if the out of wedlock child is listed as a surviving child in his obit or a child born 2 months after his father died in 1880–the mother remarried giving her newborn to her deceased hubby’s mother to raise— there were documents found stating the child knew who his mother was BUT had never meet her…

I have 2 that the mother refused to tell who the father was— the one child born in 1890 refused to tell the family and she died slightly after the birth–her family raised the child-- another born 1849 where they dragged the mother into court and she refused to tell–she died MANY years later and still never told-- the child born 1871 to Peter Sargeant and Hulda Smith-- her mother was the Midwife and her grandmother the informant-- and marked on the birth record, it says illegitimate— the child was raised by the grandparents as mom died BUT yet every document that asked for name of father is left blank…

BUT I think the best examples are the 2 or more boys ( different families) that were born out of wedlock BUT every document that ask for the name of the father has her 1st hubby listed as the child’s father–ONLY PROBLEM is the 1st hubby died in the CIVIL WAR ( documented) 3 to 5 years before the child was born…

So it just depends on how hard you look and what you can find…

@Terry

I believe in not only being consistent with my date BUT also accurate --if I know a couple was NEVER MARRIED, I wouldn’t want to upload a family file somewhere that would show they WERE MARRIED WITHOUT A DATE- for example I researched a girl whose mother BIRD had 5 kids with at least 3 different partners ( Smith, Green and Clark)-- when the girl was a teenager her mother Bird married Young ( stepfather) but they had no kids — 1910 census shows the girl’s last name as Bird , 1920 shows name as YOUNG ( stepfather)-- when she married her mother was the informant and gave the girl’s last name as GREEN ( DNA has also proved she was a GREEN)— when the girl married a 2nd time, her marriage info gives her father’s name as YOUNG ( the stepfather who died long before she married a 2nd time)—so when you go on ancestry and search for her in the Public Member Trees-- the girl’s last name is listed in the different files as Bird, Smith, Clark and YOUNG with only a few having GREEN and most list some or all of the names …

I did NOT originally look at the family info for a step father but I normally do now after accidentally finding many step fathers that are some how related to the lines–occasionally they will just turn out to be a life long friend/ neighbor but I have found step fathers who were 1st married to the wife’s sister or cousin ( whether the 1st wife died or they divorced), found some step fathers who were a cousin of his new wife-- another who was the much older brother of his new wife’s daughter-in-law–sometimes the step children marry each other— sometimes the the younger brother/ half brother or nephew of the step father married the step child…

so while I understand why you don’t go any further back, I’ve found for me that I need to look

I did not know I would start such a discussion. My main issue is I do not want to give someone the “Father” title just because he got a woman pregnant. With that said, how would be the best way to handle artificial insemination?