I agree with all your concerns, but I suspect that many of them can never be addressed due to limitations of the Ancestry API. Therefore, I long ago concluded that the only practical ways to use TreeShare was to update only Ancestry and download to RM or else to update only RM and upload to Ancestry. In this mode of operation, you can periodically delete your RM database and download anew from Ancestry, or you can periodically delete your Ancestry tree and upload anew from RM.
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